Infidelity

Our Private Investigators offer a large variety of investigation services into your partner or spouse. These include partner surveillance, debugging, tracking, general investigations and intelligence work.

We have licensed Investigators in Manawatu, Masterton and Wellington.

Contact us about infidelity concerns.

Suspect your partner or spouse is cheating?

Suspecting your partner or spouse of cheating is one of the most difficult things to endure in a relationship. It’s not just the betrayal that can hurt – cheaters often lie about other things as well meaning you may face a difficult fight over the assets of the relationship later on, not to mention custody issues if you have children.

Your suspicion about a cheating partner might arise from an event, a lie or a change in behaviour. Most often, your instinct tells you that something is not quite right. It’s an unpleasant feeling to doubt your partner but, in our experience, the feeling is often there for a reason. Being able to detect when something is wrong is an evolutionary skill that has enabled humans to survive through history. In the majority of cases, a strong suspicion is proven correct, usually through careful investigative work.

So what kind of investigation is necessary to confirm whether your suspicions are correct and to allow you to move on, one way or the other?

What Not To Do

Before we talk about what you should do about a cheating partner, let’s talk about what you shouldn’t do.

When you become suspicious, your initial response is usually to lash out or confront your partner and accuse them of wrongdoing. From a strategic perspective, this is a mistake. When emotions are involved, people only think one or two steps ahead and don’t consider the longer term implications of their actions. If you confront your partner, they will know that you are suspicious so it will be harder to prove infidelity. When confronted, your partner will change their behaviour and will become more wary of being caught.

If your partner is doing something wrong, whether it involves cheating or something else, we want that person to feel comfortable to continue that behaviour so you can get the proof you need quickly and make a decision about your future.

Another mistake people make is to try to investigate their partner themselves. If you get caught, you will do just as much damage to your investigation as if you had confronted your partner.

Some people might say that it’s best to be open and honest with your partner if you have concerns about faithfulness. The problem with this approach is that cheaters lie. They have already proven they are willing to act in a deceitful way by engaging in this behaviour in the first place and many unfaithful people will lie on and on and on. We are aware of cases where these lies last for many years.

If you investigate and for some reason you don’t get definitive answers to your questions, there’s always the opportunity to discuss the matter with your partner later but, from a strategic point of view, it’s not wise to start with a discussion. Also, don’t use spyware or tracking devices. These are in almost all cases illegal.

Evidence

If you are reading this then there’s a good likelihood that you want proof. Evidence of infidelity is not relevant in legal proceedings in New Zealand but it can be vital for your peace of mind. Also, identifying the person your partner is involved with can become relevant in family law proceedings down the track. Another reason why some people should get evidence of infidelity is because the guilty partner could lie to family and friends about who was responsible for the break-up of the relationship meaning the innocent person can be blamed.

In many years of carrying out investigations, we have only ever seen one form of evidence result in peace of mind and that evidence is visual proof. Video footage of a partner showing affection towards another person or going into a person’s residence or hotel room makes all the difference. It enables the person with the suspicion to see with their own eyes what is actually happening.

There can be no denying video evidence. Unlike text messages, emails, GPS data, rumours or overheard conversations, visual evidence is a completely objective record of what has taken place and is not open to interpretation. If that evidence is obtained, you will get control back over your life as your partner will not be able to lie to you anymore. We want you to come out of a bad relationship as a winner, not a loser and by listening to the advice of experts in this area, you have the best chance of regaining control over your emotions, your finances and your children’s future.

So, how do you get this evidence? By engaging a licensed, experienced and skilled private investigation firm to perform surveillance.

Surveillance

Surveillance is an incredibly effective tool in many types of investigation and it is crucial in cheating partner cases. It is an investigation technique that involves one or more investigators following and observing the subject person at a planned time, taking discreet footage and documenting their observations wherever possible. Surveillance can be conducted on foot, in a vehicle, on a boat or elsewhere. As long as an investigator has sufficient notice, surveillance can be conducted just about anywhere at any time.

While nobody can ever predict with certainty what will happen in the future, by planning the investigation and ensuring the investigator has all relevant information, you can be assured of the best possible outcome. People often get a feeling before a partner gets up to something so contact an investigator as soon as you have any level of suspicion so you can discuss how your case would proceed. You may only get one chance to prove the truth so acting promptly is important.

It costs nothing to contact an investigator and talk through your options. If you don’t have a suspicion regarding a specific opportunity then we know from experience that certain times are better than others. For example, when either you or your partner is out of town there’s a great opportunity to get up to no good because the cheater lets their guard down when there’s a physical separation. Work events are also times of interest.

Summary

In the vast majority of cases, an investigation is the circuit-breaker you need to change the course of your relationship. Even if evidence of actual infidelity is not uncovered, surveillance often enables you to uncover a part of the puzzle that helps you understand the truth.

Sometimes, it is not infidelity that your partner is guilty of – we have seen many cases of gambling, drug and alcohol addictions. Whatever it is that your partner is up to, you deserve to know the truth. Without being able to diagnose the problem, you have no chance of being able to solve it.

We mentioned above that it’s not wise to confront your partner before you have evidence. Well, it’s also not a good idea to confront your partner after you get the proof you need because there may be other issues to resolve first. For example, a lot of cheating partners hide assets and income. Some partners make false claims about abuse by their former partner. Evidence gathering in these areas is best done before a separation.

So, keep in mind that investigators can possibly help not just in infidelity but also in the following related areas: child custody disputes, property settlements, hidden assets, locating children, detection of stalking, proof of income for child support and so on.